and the cougars came out to play (part 2 of 2)

...continued from march 2, 2009

as we sat at our table, we found ourselves looking at every single person in the room. the guy at the next table was wearing a fancy suit and had a ponytail. one lady was wearing a black, halter, sheath dress with a huge silver embellishment that looked like something you would find at forever 21. one of the guys playing pool looked like he was dressed in designer duds with the top few buttons of his shirt open displaying a (lovely) chain around his neck. a woman of probably 60 was wearing a baby blue sweater with silver threading and a black skirt that was maybe six inches in length and much too short for someone her age. another woman was wearing a strapless corset type dress made from spring green eyelet fabric which was a.) too small and cut her boobs in half, and b.) looked like it belonged on tinkerbell with the way the fabric of the skirt was cut. another guy from across the room looked like he belonged at a biker bar. he was wearing all black and had a leather cowboy hat on. it was quite the eclectic bunch.

but they all had one thing in common. they were all single and ready to mingle.

by about 8:30, the band was finishing setting up and testing their equipment and some background music came on. several people moved to the dance floor and it seemed like every couple dancing didn’t really mesh well together. one guy was all over the dance floor dancing with multiple women at once. he had graying hair and was wearing dockers and a polo shirt—nothing super fancy. but man did he like to dance! his dance moves were so bouncy that his hair, parted perfectly down the middle, flew up and down as he moved. he basically danced circles around all the women on the dance floor trying to win each of their hearts through his interpretation of dance. we also watched the woman with the short skirt and blue sweater gyrate her hips back and forth in a way that made me scared everyone would get an unwelcomed peek at her vajayjay. i felt a little uncomfortable and uneasy, though very amused, watching the antics on the dance floor, but little did i know there would be much, much more.

at 9ish, the band began to play. the band members looked to be in their late 20s and they seemed fairly hip. the lead singer was a girl and i hoped that the band played blues and soul music. i was not even close. it turns out they were a cover band playing everything from santana to bob seger. as the first song started, i realized i’d never seen so many people move so fast to get to the dance floor. it was as if they felt this was their absolute, last opportunity to find love and every single second was of the utmost importance in their search. they danced it out like they meant it.

by this point, mike’s friends arrived and he mingled with them a little bit. work talk. with the music it was hard to hear anyway so i remained in my spectator seat and watched this interesting dating game for the above fifty crowd. i watched as people slowly started to break off into couples on the dance floor. you could tell that there was that initial hesitation as to weather they would fit together. and then there was the occasional awkward moment as one tried to slyly start dancing further and further away from the other one.

the next thing i know i look out around the bar and what was about 50 people when we arrived had quickly turned into 300. i guess this place was voted best singles bar because there were so many to choose from. i swear i saw a guy that looked like samuel l. jackson. he was tall and dark with a khaki colored suit with a collared shirt and a tie. he had glasses and wore a hat the same color as his suit. let me repeat, he wore a hat in a bar slash love lounge (very pimped out, if you ask me). i tried desperately to take a picture, but unfortunately my phone has no flash and it was too dark in the room. sorry kira (kira is my cousin who has a little bit of a samuel l. jackson fetish in that she likes to make her own photos more interesting by photoshopping his face into them as if he were her friend—always cracks me up—and if you knew her, this would totally make sense).

so, after my failed attempt to capture an image of the slj look alike, i noticed something out of the corner of my eye that topped off this wonderful night. it was the icing on the cake. a lovely lady dressed in all black was slowly making her way through the crowd carrying a basket full of long-stemmed roses. and what was she doing with so many flowers, you might ask. well, she was selling them to all the eligible men in the room, of course! a rose that says, “i’m such a sweet, sensitive, caring guy. wanna go home with me?” she should have been caring a small radio with marvin gaye’s “let’s get it on” playing on a loop to top it all off. seriously, my night was complete.

the whole night was just amusing. it seemed so silly to me that all these people put on their best seduction outfits to come to a bar in anaheim hills in hopes of finding their second, third, or fourth love. i know. i know. i shouldn’t be snickering at these people’s seemingly genuine attempts to find someone to spend their time with and maybe fall in love with. but i can’t help it.

after everything i saw, i must say that i had a great night. don’t get me wrong, though, i won’t ever go back. but i had a great night.

the end.